Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.

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(847): View more from Illinois

chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.

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(757): View more from Virginia

almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.

(503): View more from Oregon

OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.

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