my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
