I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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