Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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