I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
