I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
