once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
