yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
