Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize