i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
