There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
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i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
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This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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