I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
