Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
