After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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