I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
