And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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