Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
