So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
