Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize