I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
