Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize