marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
