it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
