Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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