i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize