ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person