Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to