thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
