We need to rekindle our bromance
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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