listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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