pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
