Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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