this beer tastes like vomit already
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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