Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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