The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize