There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
