SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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