You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
