at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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