porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
