Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
