its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
