the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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