so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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