went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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