we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
