i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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