I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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