I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize