physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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