The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
