He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
