She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
