apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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