I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
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Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
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You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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