I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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