I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
